*There's a first time for everything*
Ok so I have nothing much to blog about at the moment, apart from the fact that I am completely busy with the life in school right now.
I've been made the Vice-president of the Photographic Society in AJC. Some may say that this is something to be happy about, since it is well prestigious (Somewhat) and well it is a rather high post afterall. However, with all the benefits and other things that I'll be getting along the way, it comes with a immense serving of responsibility and work. Seeing as how hard at work my seniors were, I expect no less than what they had went through, in fact I expect that I'll have to do more. Well anyway, the rest of the team will be helping the President to execute his tasks well. This is all about teamwork and putting aside all else to complete the task with efficiency and effectiveness.
Another thing will be the AB camp that I'll be going to on about 2 days. 5 day 4 nights camp, yea. Its going to be fun, but its also going to be physically, mentally even spiritually exhausting? I dont really know, there is always a first time and this is the first time that I am going for such a camp. In any case, I'm with my best friend so yay me, that is something to look forward to.
But perhaps, what is bugging me is not the exhaustion of myself...but rather the exhaustion of those around me. I've seen people breaking down and going depressed and there is this one person that I've been worried about the entire time since I met her and started reading her blog. If she is reading this, I do hope that she will take good care of herself and honestly dont push herself too hard. She is an amazing person really. Nobody expects more than what you can do, so just try your best.
I started off with nothing to blog about, but thoughts just keep flowing and I guess that is how these blogs work. They bring out the innate feelings of people and just allows them to think and let their ideas flow.
By the way, I am doing this all in school. So yea.
~There is always a first time, but not always a second~
19:06
*Can you relate to this?*
I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bedWhere your nightgown used to be
I told myself I wouldn't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory
I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my fac
eAnd the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend
I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)
~Love her with everything you've got~
18:41
*The voice of my heart*
~I'll be there for you~
~I'll be that pillar of support~
~I'll be there when no one else is~
~I'll wipe away your tears~
~I'll make you smile again~
~I'll give you strength~
~I'll give meaning to your life~
~I'll be me and walk with you down the journey of life~
17:09
*Trembling*
I've seen and heard things and I am not in the best of moods right now. I would probably still be bothering for days or weeks to come. But to tell you the truth, I will never be the same until the problem has been alleviated or solved.
Disclaimer: Dont piss me off
~Welcome to Hurricane Ben~
04:03
*Leave me the hell alone*
Have you ever met those stupid telecomm people who always bug you about their new products and packages? Have you ever been called up 5 times in an hour, by the same person? Have you ever been so pissed off at them that you want to smash your phone to little pieces?
Well, I have...for the past two days.....stoooopid people.
Honestly, we have lives....and yes I DO have a life....a life that I want to live on my own. I dont care if school is taking up the whole lot of my life, I chose to continue studying, I chose to go to a Junior College, even if those were wrong choices that I made, I made those choices. I am going to follow these choices till the end, or die trying. Now doesnt that sound like school is killing me? Well actually, there is some truth to it. I wouldnt be surprised if I hear about suicide cases in Junior Colleges and even less surprised if it happened in the more prestigious schools around Singapore. Thing is, people around me are starting to burn out. Sure they do recover given a few days, but this constant burning will only accumulate more and eventually hurt them, inside and out. I wish to be able to help them, all of them even, but to tell you the truth, I cant even help myself at the moment. So I dont really think that I am in any position to help anyone else....
Nobody said that it was going to be easy right? Should I have gone to a poly? Hmmmm.....
~Ignorance is bliss?~
06:48
*All smiles*
I woke up expecting this Sunday to be boring and filled with nothing but homework, turns out it was al boring. Started the day with doing my homework, Gp....moved on to Physics.....moved on to a little math....moved on to Econs (why the hell did they give so many essays at once) Anyway, it really sucked for me, wasnt in the mood to do anything at all. I felt out of place playing the computer even, that was how boring my day was....up until I had a talk with my girlfriend ^^
Honestly, when I say that she can ALWAYS make me smile, I mean it and today, ladies and gentlemen, she has outdone herself.
This girl, this special girl called Rin, she had a dream last night, a very lovely dream. She dreamt that she was happily married to a man she loves dearly and one find day as she was sending her children, all 3 of them, to school, her husband came and told her off for making their children go through so many courses even though they were just kids. This man was then supported by his parents who agreed with him on this note.
Ok fine, so I was the husband in her dreams and yes she did dream about me yelling at her for some reason. But hey, she dreamt about me, SHE DREAMNT ABOUT ME! I am sooooo happy right now and I have been happy since 4 in the afternoon today. I was literally bouncing on my seat because I was so darn happy to know that she dreamnt about me. ARGH! I dont know what to say anymore, happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy!
I just enjoy the thought of being her husband and yes I do realise that I am a naive fool for thinking so far ahead right now when nothing is for certain yet. But who is to stop me from liking those thoughts?
Even though we may be countries apart, our hearts are always together.
~Take care of our 3 kids Rin-chan <3~
07:21
*The trophy means nothing*
Forgot to do this some time ago, so yup this is one of those late posts.
So basically, this speak EZ competition is an initiative in AJC for people to showcase their talents in presentation. And I the Champion in my class, although it doesnt really seem like much since the two guys who are better than me showed their violent objections to the teacher, so yea, makes me feel like a substitute....which I am of course. No complaints there.
Although I did notice that among the classes that I know...the champions are mostly guys. I wonder what happened to the girls? And to think they talk and gossip so much during their free time...odd.
Did on a topic of "Is having bad taste better than having no taste?" What kind of a topic is that?! But after much thinking and consulting among friends and family, I did realise that there is much to talk about in this topic. And this is what I used to prepare for the speech.....
Is having bad taste better than having no taste?
What is taste? Preferences, view point, choices, decisions
Why do people have different taste? Different preferences, different personalities, different environments, different beliefs and lifestyles
Bad taste? Is there really bad taste? Does it exist at all? Its up to the person to say what they wear. Clothes started as a necessity to stay warm, however, nowadays people are using it more for showing off their status and prestige. It is also used to measure a person’s wealth, “coolness”.
No taste? Teenagers are slaves of indeed slaves of fashion (trend, celebrities) followers of trends and fashion. Forgetting the basics of clothes and the meaning for them in the first place.
Judgment? People tend to judge people by the way they dress and by doing that imposes their perceptions of beauty on them. If the person chooses to follow, he/she is betraying one’s own values and thinking to suit to the other party. Taste breeds individuality, it is because of different tastes that people can be different. Imagine the entire street of people wearing the same things. The world would be plain and it would be boring. There is no way to identify individuals from the others. Where is the variety? Where is the fun and colours? If men were to conform and be the same, why then were we born with different skin, hair and eye colours?
PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL GOOD ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE
YOU wear the clothes DON’T let the clothes WEAR YOU
From the speech, I learnt to be true to yourself. There is no point being successful when you arent happy about it at all. For me, I would rather be a happy loser than to be a sad sad winner. Even though I didnt win and I got completely owned by the Winner (He was decided the winner by EVERYONE in the lecture, that is how good it is and how unanimous the decision was) I learnt a lot, made a couple of friends and most of all, I got the recognition of my friends and some of the teachers. To me that is the most rewarding thing that I could ever get from this competition, I went away without a trophy but in my heart, I won something that cant be compared with a mere piece of plastic and metal.
~Stay true to yourself~
07:09
*Thinking through my ass*
Good job Ben, you tried to make people laugh, you tried to tease your friend. Now what happens, you broke her heart, you made everything worse. Some friend you turned out to be. Next time why dont you just shoot her while you are at it, maybe that will take the pain off of her.
Thinking through your ass like that, what the hell were you thinking?!
Now what are you going to do? Comfort her? Apologise to her? What is the point in all of that? You hurt her, the damage has been done. It doesnt matter if it was intentional or not, you inflicted pain in her already hurt heart. You say you want to be for your friends when they needed, you say you want to help them in anyway you can. But right now I think it would be better if you just shut up.
Your existence brings pain
~A person who hurts his friends is worse than scum~
02:07
*I want...*
I want to be able to hold her when she wants me to
I want to wipe her tears away when she cries
I want to be able to hear her crisp laughter
I want to be able to hug her when she is cold
I want to be able to see her angelic smile
I want to feel her hair in my face
I want to be able to smell her after her competitions
I want to be able to congratulate her when she wins
I want to be there for her when she loses
I want to see her eat to her heart's content
I want to wipe crumbs and ice cream from the corner of her mouth
I want to tell her off for eating too much
I want to tease her about getting chubbier
I want to run my hand through her long hair
I want to be able to hear her lovely voice
I want to be able to eat her scrumptious cooking
I want to compliment her for cooking a good meal
I want to tell her that she will make a good wife
I want to close my eyes and hear her play on the keyboard
I want to tease her for being a newbie at the guitar
I want to hold her hands
I want to tickle her and laugh about it
I want to lie down on the roof with her by my side
I want to watch the stars with her in my arms
I want to brush my lips against her
I want to be at her side forever
~I want you Rin chan~
04:09
*Its all in the MIND*
Well, my blog feels so foreign from me right now. Yea, whatever, not that people write in their diaries everyday....well, not everybody. And I am the sort to NOT write everyday, and you can stop me ><
Wow, that was really really childish......
Ok, I need to stop being childish. Anyway, I went over to MINDS today. And in case you dont know, its a group that deals with the intellectually disabled. Now many would see these special people as handicapped and as lesser beings as all of us "normal" people, but I beg to differ. I have always viewed them positively. They are the people who always smile because they mean it and are always perfectly honest with you. They are not tainted by the sins of the real world, nor are they wearing masks to fake people, they present themselves as they are. Honestly, I have always envied them, whenever they laugh, there is no hint of coldness, there is only pure joy.
Especially with the project work going on now, I doubt many of us students can actually smile and mean it completely. Already, I have seen so many people getting depressed, so many, including myself. And I dont know what to do right now, I am not exactly in the mood to cheer people up feeling like that myself. Besides, I am already starting to break down and the only people keeping me alive is my girl, Rin. She is such a bundle of joy and I thank her for understanding my situation....I havent been talking to her properly lately. And I hope that I can make it up to her. She is just such an amazing girl, I will never want to lose her.
~The innocence of a kid~
07:05
